Summary of Fettling in 2018

Having not blogged for a while due to work getting in the way, I have compiled a short photo summary of my endeavours over the last few months.

I guess a series of before and after shots of various works is as detailed as it needs to be, I wouldn't want to put more effort into this blog than David Davis the Brexit secretary is getting away with in the course of his work!

I hope you enjoy this montage of my recent activities as I charge into the sunlit uplands of our post Brexit reality...

Now we've got our country back an associate of mine in our rural idyll in Staffordshire decided to help me out by doing a bit of casual road rolling 

 I guess the machine must of been foreign or something! It will take more than faulty non British machines to hold us back in the new age!

If you are at all concerned for the welfare of my associate you have obviously never met him..... The owner of the roller lamented that the driver had got off too soon, but was otherwise unperturbed.

The manufacture and restoration of antique rocking horses continues apace. With unabashed British grit and in an atmosphere of great professionalism and humility, we go about our time honoured traditional craft.

Personally I wish they'd automate the lot.... apart from the bit where i get to sand their bottoms!

Farmer Palmer approached me late last year with a booze storage problem.

"Can you help me fit more booze in my cupboard?" They said. In sympathy as Michael Gove now holds their livelihood in his rather slippery hands, I decided to forgo the usual beard stroking and sucking of teeth.... 

 

.... and produced this rather pleasing little wine cellar and bar amalgamation.

The department of the environment can go whistle now, who cares about the common agricultural policy when we can all get smashed in style!!!

Slightly randomly, here is a picture of a Scotsman cooking and selling mussels in Lambrini on the street.

He is laughing at you.

Concentrating again now, here is a narrowboat bathroom belonging to one of the great "Unwashed".

There's nothing I love more than getting stuck into a good stinking bilge, and with Boris Johnson's tomes of of Joy ringing in my ears I undertook to sort this mother out!

I found it helped productivity to sing sea shanties whilst imagining Jacob Rees-Mogg standing over me as supervisor, with a cane.

I think self employment has given me all sorts of funny ideas, and submitting myself to a bit of zero hours exploitation to be good practice for the future.

 That'll do then!

 

If last years shepherds hut in my previous posts were a £350 million promise, then this antique hut of my own is representative of the biting reality! 

I'd have tried to find some cheap foreign labour but there's a bit of a shortage of that in Staffordshire at the moment.

Getting into the positive spirit I decided to extend the apprenticeship scheme to make use of a bit of child labour. If i can find a top hat I've decided to try and get a job as an adviser on Moggsie's staff.

The boy done good,.... had to leave it there for a bit though... we had to put on our cravattes and spats to go and consult on a rather incongruous plan to build a road link to France, just as we've severed trade links with the French!

But where to sit and watch the drama unfold? How else to absorb these events at this exiting point in British history?

Why in front of a bespoke media wall unit crafted by a local artisan of course!

What better way to watch the political class stick it to Johnny Foreigner, than by also gazing at hand crafted furniture made with imported materials, by a half German anarchist descended from immigrants!

What could go wrong!

In Summary I'm under the impression that the powers that be would rather all the self employed, and indeed all workers bar their chums in the city, offshore, or in the hedge (wherever that is) were kept in working conditions and a level of dignity represented by this picture of me on the right!

What they continually fail to understand is that the great British workforce; versatile, determined, inventive, resourceful, and fantastically cynical, is more represented in their attitude to the political class by this picture below.............!

Shepherds Hut Pt 2.

When building a boat one of the most common complaints is in the perennial lack of clamps. It seems that the same affliction has befallen this project... having said that, it has been pointed out to me that far from a shed on wheels this hut resembles an inverted boat on a trailer. Without a nail gun in sight, the screws hidden in here number over 4000! And there in over 1 1/2 litres of polyeurathane glue concealed between the boards.

 

 The old oak double glazed windows have cleaned up a treat. As to incorporating angles into things I question why i bother sometimes as the maths is a bit too much... but its worth it to sit on the finished item and have comfy bottom!

 

Chunky sturdiness and functionality is the theme with all of the woodwork. I doubt the average shepherd had it this good in the old days, 

 

As the job begins to finally take shape the Blacksmith next door offers to forge some shepherds crook shaped curtain poles. Now that spring has sprung the Mrs. also comes down to supervise the application of the exterior colours. Sometimes I don't know what i'd do without them!

I'm aware that iv'e probably exceeded the attention span of your average internet user these days... so heres a picture of some kids setting fire to stuff!

Taking care not to listen to the news in case the uncontrollable laughter at our unelected, right wing, brexiteering, frothing at the mouth, sheep flock of a government lessen our concentration; the finished article is carefully loaded onto a trailer and expertly delivered to its final resting place in west wales.

Skepticism about the safety of our careful winching technique eventually drew the oopaloompah's out of the chocolate laboratory.

Begging for habitation the hut is ready for a duvet, a bit of kindling in the stove, and the kettle on.

The thanks I owe to so many people that have supported me to bring this project to fruition know who they are... and my heartfelt thanks, love and respect goes out to all of them...x

 

NB "Daniel"

"Daniel" 

 Daniel is a Dutch Barge style Narrowboat who's second galley is already nearing the end of its usefulness. 

 The chipboard base units and cupboards are becoming a bit soft and squidgy. There is a lot of wasted space next to the sink where the 240v fridge used to be, and in the service gap underneath and behind these house kitchen units. The tiles are starting to work off the walls in places, and plastic floor tiles cover the original laminate floor.

You have to lift the rear steps out of the way to open the fridge door... Time To bite the bullet and look under the sink. Surely it will be a nice easy job and i wont have to fiddle with the plumbing.....?

DOH!! First prize goes to the salesman on the plumbing counter who managed to flog more fittings than you'd need to plumb the QE2,.. and the sink still dosen't work! All washing up water has had to be emptied out of the side hatch for years as the sink simply wont drain. 
  The drip tray is essential... and the installation takes up most of the shelf space underneath. There is only one course of action!

 Stripping the lot out reveals the opportunity to finish the lining out, and the true extent of the blockage in the plug'ole!.... NICE! New 1 1/2 " skin fitting required here.

Blocked sinks are now a thing of the past... and you can also fit pans on the shelf underneath.


 Daniels owners' plans for the new galley are actually very detailed, and there's quite a lot to fit in. 

Making the most of such a small space usually means fiddling about with the sizes and shapes of the doors and drawers. We've gained 3 drawers and 2 doors in a bid increase storage and most importantly make it useful!

Colour's abound these days.... Cant beat a bit of "volcanic splash 2" to brighten up your life!
It certainly brightens up the new kitchen units which are made out of cheap but high quality ply and softwood. This method of construction suits boats for many reasons, Its quick... very strong and durable, and gives you total flexibility over the proportions making a bespoke project feasable for people who wouldn't normally consider one.

Finishing touches come together. Going for chunky handles and tiles makes sense as nothing else is flimsy in here! Diagonal floor tiling adds a layer of interest.

The 12v fridge door now opens all the way, and there's even good access to the new little cupboard next to it without having to lift the steps out.

Drawers at the back just clear the steps again. The cupboard underneath is a good cold food store for the winter months

 Refitted and ready for use "Daniels" new galley is good to go.

NB "Jemima"

Dead space on a boat.... Nightmare! Jemima's owner could only use these bunk beds in the rear cabin as a dumping ground. 

What was required was a home office that could be used as an occasional bedroom whilst preserving some useful storage space.

Using the full width of the forward bulkhead and creating an angled passageway i made a three seat dinette to maximize storage yet facilitate access through the boat.

 
A spacious desk, large bed (when the table is put down), custom shelves and under bench storage breathe new life into this little cabin.

The pale white wood will benefit from a couple of coats of light oak wax oil, bringing it to the same shade as the existing fit out. Using this material is massively cheaper than building in oak, and the customer will apply the wood finish to keep the cost down even further.
  A good value and extremely useful alteration to a liveaboard boat!
 

Fitted Bedroom

Poor Jack! He has outgrown his bedroom and now his furniture is overburdened with paraphenalia to the extent that the use of his playstation is impaired!

Jack's is a very small box room leaving just enough space with this arrangement for a mattress on the floor and little space to stand. His Parents commissioned me to design, build and fit new bedroom furniture to better suit his growing requirements.

By building from scratch i was able to offer under bed storage, and then utilise all of the existing wall space with bespoke shelving designed for a mixture of media, books and treasures.

Monobloc edges and a grey tinted wax oil result in a contemporary finish. Note the extra floor space available in the room.

 

Storage wraps round the room even continuing above the door. TV space is central to the base unit in the bottom right of this picture (above).

The bed fits a standard size single mattress. The shelves above allow just enough room to sit on the bed and get up without banging your head.

Optimised storage and clothes hanging space.

Prewired TV and playstation worshipping alcove provides a better line of sight to the screen from the playing position (presumably recumbant in bed). Good on you Jack, and remember to keep your stuff off the floor!