NB "Whisper"

In a World of such fast paced political change I hope its reassuring that Turds of various sorts are diligently still being polished in the Midlands!

Whisper is a leaky and rather scaly boat which needed "The Treatment" to restore her former glory...

As with all paint jobs preparation is key, and looking at the state of the job in hand,

  I've engaged the services of my old mate and committed Brexiteer, the old pirate ex captain of the Black Pearl

 After a quick chat about our unreconciled political differences we decide to crack on as the job wont do itself.....

Halfway through the arduous prep job the government in their wisdom upset the apple cart by announcing a snap general election!

Things were going very well with the captain I until that point, and unfortunately, like the rest of the poor British workforce, productivity took a nose dive as the whole "can of worms" 

was reopened and unceremoniously chucked all over the floor!

"Why cant we just be OUT like they promised!?" he growl's through the dust and noise in admirable and dilligent representation of his demographic. Trying not to imagine Blackbeard boarding some poor merchantman holding his sword by the pointy end with

 £350 million quid burning in his beard, I volunteer the following placations.....

"Look mate this boat is in a state isn't it..... but were not scuttling it in the basin are we? Surely putting our differences aside and trying to fix it is the best way forward.... we can do that cant we?"

Unimpressed with my nautical analogies and political idealism he began to vent his rage in true pirate style, as if there had been a free rum token in the daily express that morning...

Et Tu blackbeard? Is that mine own claw hammer stuck in the back of my head??

My inner anarchist was promptly uncorked.... 

Agreeing not to listen to the news we decide on a truce for the duration of the prep job (and hide our most dangerous tools/weapons till hometime).

 

Just Imagine what reform could have been like if we hadn't scuttled our own ship ?

The French and the Dutch clearly thought that the situation was worth salvaging!

Whisper is certainly shaping up with a bit of effort...

Lets face it even America will probably be back to normal (whatever that is) in a couple of years!

More skills and opinions add themselves to the foment in the form of canal legend and signwriter, Trevor Counsell.

The consensus being that its all a bit silly really and most of us humble grafters wont really be affected... The use of Grammar by radio four presenters on the other hand is only sloppy at best... what is the world coming to?

Whisper, however, has come up a treat in the skilled hands of Pirate, a Remoaner, a Taoist with a badger hair brush, and not least Bev and Andrea who restored all of their own brasses to an exceptional standard before refitting.

I guess in an Ideal world all of the politicians that profess to represent our best interests could work together just as our eclectic band of bodgers... but thats the paint fumes talking I think. 

Whoever gets in (and barring another complete poll malfunction we know who that will be) Can you do all of us the courtesy of following OUR example, put your differences behind you, and get on with some F*****G work!

NB "Kelsarusue"

Kelsarusue

So begins another post about boat painting...

 Please feel free to browse the extensive archive on my blog which outline my method and working practises.. 

Kelsarusue is the pride and joy of an experienced boating couple from the black country, and my most recent endeavour. Superficially in reasonable condition, bitter experience meant that what I uncovered during preparation was no surprise!

Removal of all the windows and cabin fixtures revealed this lot:

 

"Rust Rust Glorious Rust, Sand it or Scrape it Remove it you Must!"

A week of solid graft usually sees the back of this demanding but necessary part of the job.
 Between sanding, grinding, scraping, shouting and clawing at the surface with fingernails the stuff comes off..

 Trust and honesty are essential between client and customer in any job, but particularly in the cottage industry of narrowboat painting. The Mrs found a consumer website the other day which appeared to diagnose me as a "Cowboy Painter" on the basis that I required a deposit before starting work, wore trainers, and did not have headed note paper!
To say that I was rather pleased is an understatement, as I've always loved westerns... All I need is a holster for my paintbrush!

Whilst applying the first of six coats of paint (for those that followed the link I made sure to hide the tins of cheap paint I'd poured into the empty expensive tins the night before)...  I just had to get rid of those bloody spurs 'cos they just kept making this damned distracting jangling noise.

Getting the coachlines straight is pretty crucial otherwise my scam will be blown and the Sherrif will run me out of town..
 


  

 Coat number three and the dock is providing adequate protection from the tumble weeds careering down the dirt road outside.

Three coats of gloss later and the undercoated coachlines unmask perfectly, I'll have to keep my head down... don't want to get a bad reputation with any of the other outlaws in this territory!

 Gasping to hit the saloon I resist, and steal myself with a steady hand to mask out the coachlines again top and bottom before chucking on two coats of cheap gloss with an old brush that used to belong to a fella I shot once.

The Sign Writing talents of the notorious outlaw Trevor Counsell lend a stunning finishing touch to this act of total deception, notice i have taken care not to show his face as he's been on the run for over sixty years and is wanted DEAD OR ALIVE!
 

Pride in the Boat restored its time to mosey on out of town. 

Thanks to Kelvin and Sue for being fantastic customers.

To all those thinking of embarking on a boat revamp beware, the cook at the saloon swears by the old addage "cheap goods no good, good goods no cheap".  In the unregulated wild west of the narrowboat world you pay your money and take your choice. Whether you get John Wayne or Jimmy Stewart to do your job for you you can only be really certain of one thing...
They are a bloody Cowboy!

 

Boat Blacking

Boat Blacking

Time to engage in the thankless labour of love that is "Blacking the Bottom" on our own boat Barden!

Earlier in the year we had the boat hauled out at Stafford Boat Clubs super slipway for a week. The actual state of the bottom is always a mystery and the subject of much conjecture until the hidden part of the hull finally emerges from the murky depths!

Thankfully we had nothing to worry about in terms of corrosion which can happen... even on boats that are only 4 years old!

Unlike normal boat jobs I was being managed by the Mrs on this one... and meeting her exacting standards is tough I can tell you!

Not content with the generally accepted approach of pressure washing the hull and chucking some bitumen on then going to the pub, my itinerary comprised the following:

1. Pressure wash the hull

2. Scrape the hull by hand to remove remaining algae

3. Wire brush the whole lot with 2 grades of wire brush attached to big angle grinders (a day of this results in feeling what I imagine it must be like to have been trampled by a herd of cows!)

4. Cut off part worn anodes, re-weld on at intervals in middle of boat

5. Fork out for and weld on NEW anodes bow and stern

6.Prepare and paint counter bands and gunwhales.

7. Three coats of Intertuf whacked on with a 4" brush!

 

 

As is customary when blacking, a bit of a helping hand from family or mates was called upon.... in our case Brother in law Neil popped down to both muck in, and mediate!

 

 With good humour and high morale the job was SLAIN! A real labour of love it is though... Its a tough job to do properly, not to mention being lucky with the weather! 

The sense of satisfaction is immense once the boat is back in, not to mention the way the boat slips swiftly through the water on the return trip with a nice slick clean bottom!!!

Fantastic!!

NB "Discovery"

I've had to make the best of some tiny spaces on boats over the years but the bathroom on "Discovery" is as tight as they come.

 This large cupboard isn't really used much for storage, but it gobbles up space in this tiny bathroom making it uncomfortable to use the toilet.

Elbows get banged whilst getting dry after a shower.

The whale pump is boxed inside the shower cubicle reducing space and preventing maintenance

The owner has developed a pathalogical hatred of shower curtains from using this space! (apparently it attacks your legs when the water is on!)

The stained walls make the bathroom very dark and dingy, and the plastic wall fixtures are a bit dated albeit functional.

This bathroom seriously detracts from the owners enjoyment of his much loved boat, and I've been given the task of sorting it out.

The customers' requirements seem uncomplicated... 

1. It must look modern

2. The shower must be bigger

3. It must be brighter

4. It must be done on time

5. It must not break the bank

Oh dear... Those of you who have attempted stuff like this before will know what I'm on about! I haven't even removed the old fixtures yet to work out how long the piece of string is!!!

"Youve got a lot of leeway to do what you want in there, but basically; i want to walk into that room and say..... WOW! "

 The customers parting shot is either very brave or...... OH SHUT UP AND GET ON WITH IT!!

 Having removed the trees the wood dosen't look too bad.. no nasty surprises thank goodness.

The problem with a blank canvas and freedom to experiment is making sure the job turns out right!

The plan is to fit a new stone resin shower tray which is larger that the old fibreglass one, increase the leg room around the toilet by about 4 inches (assuming a suitable sink can be found), paint the ceiling and fit new LED lights, and cover the whole bathroom in light plastic cladding of the customers choice.

The new larger shower means the switch for the whale pump needs to be relocated 5 inches to the left...... that'll be easy then!

 Skipping straight to the finished article is best as this job was a real challenge, you can see immediately that the room is brighter and has the impression of being more spacious.

The sparkly cladding is quite something to behold.. from wearing a head torch on the toilet it is now more advisable to don the welders mask!

The new showering space is much larger and more comfortable complete with a new thermostatic mixer. The whale pump is tucked inside the angled cupboard on the left which removes the elbow whacking risk whilst allowing access to the pump.

The shower awaits a custom made bifolding glass door from Wesley Marine Windows which at the time of writing is yet to be delivered. (Come on boys!) At 790mm wide it will provide easy access, and the owner wont have the shower curtain sticking to their legs anymore!

New LED's in the ceiling throw a veritable riot of photons in all conceivable directions! Its quite grown on me this stuff... but I'm not about to re-do "Bardens" bathroom just yet.

If you're not keen on having to wear sunglasses in the shower, there are many styles of plastic cladding available... some are a bit more subdued. Check out the NB "Quercus" post on this blog.

That's the wow factor the customer was looking for alright!

Nb "Shropshire Lass"

Nb "Shropshire Lass"

Anyone who's done one of Terry's popular RYA accredited hemlsmans courses on "Shropshire Lass" will have noticed that she's started to look a bit tired recently. I've been asked to smarten her up with a paint job. 

These jobs being all about the preparation i think well forget about sanding for the moment and start with a hammer and chisel!!

 Removing all the windows and cabin fixtures for the first time in decades exposes some exciting rusty bits.... luckily the toy box is well stocked with a variety of abrasives to play with!!

Preparation develops into a two man job and "Electra's" captain (formerly of the black pearl) has come over to join in the fun at Stafford Boat Clubs excellent wet dock

 

Luckily the dressing up box contains plenty of dust masks!

Former "Black Pearl" captain still looks like a pirate!

 

Large portions of the boat were completely stripped back to the bare metal before sanding could begin.

After five days of rubbing down, the wet dock was a good inch deep in dust and rust. It made sense to pull the boat out and hose the dock down so that the painting could begin.

I use the traditional coach painting technique of brushing on and sanding down between coats by hand. 

Especially on older boats, working with a three inch brush enables you to quickly and efficiently paint large areas with much better coverage than a roller.

The finish between coats is also much better, meaning that you don't fall into the trap of sanding off all the paint you've just applied before the next coat. More efficient use of paint coupled with cleaning and re-using your brushes and not having dozens of rollers to discard arguably make this a more environmentally friendly way of tackling a paint job.

With the cabin sides nearing completion its time for a touch of the signwriters art. Trevor Counsell has signwritten boats in his own distinctive style for years, and is something of an institution on the "Shroppie". 

In this case Terry just wanted plain lettering. To see some of Trevor's fabulous shading look at the Nb"Owl" post on this blog.

 

 Could do with corporal Jones shouting "DONT PANIC" whilst carefully removing the masking tape from the finished coach line. Any cock ups in the preparation will bite you back at this moment as the top coat can be pulled off with the tape.... Both sides were unmasked without any problems!

Windows and cabin fixtures refitted the boat is ready to go the evening before the dock has to be vacated.

New Chromed vents and deck boards complement the shiny new paintwork.

I hope the next few training courses manage to steer away from the bushes Terry!