Summary of Fettling in 2018

Having not blogged for a while due to work getting in the way, I have compiled a short photo summary of my endeavours over the last few months.

I guess a series of before and after shots of various works is as detailed as it needs to be, I wouldn't want to put more effort into this blog than David Davis the Brexit secretary is getting away with in the course of his work!

I hope you enjoy this montage of my recent activities as I charge into the sunlit uplands of our post Brexit reality...

Now we've got our country back an associate of mine in our rural idyll in Staffordshire decided to help me out by doing a bit of casual road rolling 

 I guess the machine must of been foreign or something! It will take more than faulty non British machines to hold us back in the new age!

If you are at all concerned for the welfare of my associate you have obviously never met him..... The owner of the roller lamented that the driver had got off too soon, but was otherwise unperturbed.

The manufacture and restoration of antique rocking horses continues apace. With unabashed British grit and in an atmosphere of great professionalism and humility, we go about our time honoured traditional craft.

Personally I wish they'd automate the lot.... apart from the bit where i get to sand their bottoms!

Farmer Palmer approached me late last year with a booze storage problem.

"Can you help me fit more booze in my cupboard?" They said. In sympathy as Michael Gove now holds their livelihood in his rather slippery hands, I decided to forgo the usual beard stroking and sucking of teeth.... 

 

.... and produced this rather pleasing little wine cellar and bar amalgamation.

The department of the environment can go whistle now, who cares about the common agricultural policy when we can all get smashed in style!!!

Slightly randomly, here is a picture of a Scotsman cooking and selling mussels in Lambrini on the street.

He is laughing at you.

Concentrating again now, here is a narrowboat bathroom belonging to one of the great "Unwashed".

There's nothing I love more than getting stuck into a good stinking bilge, and with Boris Johnson's tomes of of Joy ringing in my ears I undertook to sort this mother out!

I found it helped productivity to sing sea shanties whilst imagining Jacob Rees-Mogg standing over me as supervisor, with a cane.

I think self employment has given me all sorts of funny ideas, and submitting myself to a bit of zero hours exploitation to be good practice for the future.

 That'll do then!

 

If last years shepherds hut in my previous posts were a £350 million promise, then this antique hut of my own is representative of the biting reality! 

I'd have tried to find some cheap foreign labour but there's a bit of a shortage of that in Staffordshire at the moment.

Getting into the positive spirit I decided to extend the apprenticeship scheme to make use of a bit of child labour. If i can find a top hat I've decided to try and get a job as an adviser on Moggsie's staff.

The boy done good,.... had to leave it there for a bit though... we had to put on our cravattes and spats to go and consult on a rather incongruous plan to build a road link to France, just as we've severed trade links with the French!

But where to sit and watch the drama unfold? How else to absorb these events at this exiting point in British history?

Why in front of a bespoke media wall unit crafted by a local artisan of course!

What better way to watch the political class stick it to Johnny Foreigner, than by also gazing at hand crafted furniture made with imported materials, by a half German anarchist descended from immigrants!

What could go wrong!

In Summary I'm under the impression that the powers that be would rather all the self employed, and indeed all workers bar their chums in the city, offshore, or in the hedge (wherever that is) were kept in working conditions and a level of dignity represented by this picture of me on the right!

What they continually fail to understand is that the great British workforce; versatile, determined, inventive, resourceful, and fantastically cynical, is more represented in their attitude to the political class by this picture below.............!

NB "Discovery"

I've had to make the best of some tiny spaces on boats over the years but the bathroom on "Discovery" is as tight as they come.

 This large cupboard isn't really used much for storage, but it gobbles up space in this tiny bathroom making it uncomfortable to use the toilet.

Elbows get banged whilst getting dry after a shower.

The whale pump is boxed inside the shower cubicle reducing space and preventing maintenance

The owner has developed a pathalogical hatred of shower curtains from using this space! (apparently it attacks your legs when the water is on!)

The stained walls make the bathroom very dark and dingy, and the plastic wall fixtures are a bit dated albeit functional.

This bathroom seriously detracts from the owners enjoyment of his much loved boat, and I've been given the task of sorting it out.

The customers' requirements seem uncomplicated... 

1. It must look modern

2. The shower must be bigger

3. It must be brighter

4. It must be done on time

5. It must not break the bank

Oh dear... Those of you who have attempted stuff like this before will know what I'm on about! I haven't even removed the old fixtures yet to work out how long the piece of string is!!!

"Youve got a lot of leeway to do what you want in there, but basically; i want to walk into that room and say..... WOW! "

 The customers parting shot is either very brave or...... OH SHUT UP AND GET ON WITH IT!!

 Having removed the trees the wood dosen't look too bad.. no nasty surprises thank goodness.

The problem with a blank canvas and freedom to experiment is making sure the job turns out right!

The plan is to fit a new stone resin shower tray which is larger that the old fibreglass one, increase the leg room around the toilet by about 4 inches (assuming a suitable sink can be found), paint the ceiling and fit new LED lights, and cover the whole bathroom in light plastic cladding of the customers choice.

The new larger shower means the switch for the whale pump needs to be relocated 5 inches to the left...... that'll be easy then!

 Skipping straight to the finished article is best as this job was a real challenge, you can see immediately that the room is brighter and has the impression of being more spacious.

The sparkly cladding is quite something to behold.. from wearing a head torch on the toilet it is now more advisable to don the welders mask!

The new showering space is much larger and more comfortable complete with a new thermostatic mixer. The whale pump is tucked inside the angled cupboard on the left which removes the elbow whacking risk whilst allowing access to the pump.

The shower awaits a custom made bifolding glass door from Wesley Marine Windows which at the time of writing is yet to be delivered. (Come on boys!) At 790mm wide it will provide easy access, and the owner wont have the shower curtain sticking to their legs anymore!

New LED's in the ceiling throw a veritable riot of photons in all conceivable directions! Its quite grown on me this stuff... but I'm not about to re-do "Bardens" bathroom just yet.

If you're not keen on having to wear sunglasses in the shower, there are many styles of plastic cladding available... some are a bit more subdued. Check out the NB "Quercus" post on this blog.

That's the wow factor the customer was looking for alright!

NB "Jemima" (again!)

Having refurbished "Jemima's" rear cabin earlier in the year she's back.... seem to be getting quite a bit of repeat custom at the moment!

Its bathrooms again! my second this year where the old and rather thin original shower tray has succumbed to the passage of time and cracked in several places.

You can only cope with remedial measures like putty and sticky bandages for so long in the shower!

The straw that broke the camels back.... the entire flange for the drain has cracked and fallen out.!

.

Careful stripping out reveals the usual hornets nest of problems one encounters by having the audacity to attempt a repair on a narrowboat....

-Services have been laid under the old tray.  Replumbing the boat is not in the customers budget so the new tray will have to be raised by the minimum amount possible to maintain headroom in the shower on a sturdy plywood base

- The old shower tray is an unusual size (no surprises there) so I had to increase the width of the cubicle by 20mm and the depth by 100mm. 

The larger cubicle now accommodates a new stone resin shower tray. These trays are available in a wide range of sizes... usually one is near enough to the now obsolete fiberglass caravan style trays. They are also cheaper and much more solid.

White wall tiles brighten up the new cubicle, and are given a contemporary flourish with a strip of pastel coloured mosaics and a new shower rail. The existing shower mixer is in good condition, and refitting it helps to keep the cost of the job down.

Chocs away.... the new sanitation station is ready to go. Time to say "Tra" to the boat tan... 
(glossary of liveaboard boating terms available on request!!)
Cheers, Kris.

NB "Quercus"

Everything has its day, and the sun has set on the shower room on narrowboat "Quercus"!!

Tight a space as this is to wash, the only access to the shower area is over the step of this steel hip bath. The plastic wall covering has seen better days!

A bit of stripping out didnt reveal too many problems, I've reinforced the floor under where the old bath was to support a new shower tray.

 Cladding the small cubicle on top of a 1200mm x 700mm stone resin shower tray makes the new facilities seem cavernous, and removes the slip hazard of the old hip bath installation.

So much for the great unwashed eh! There's no excuse now!!





.... bet you're wondering whats under the gunnel aren't you?....

Checkmate x