Having not blogged for a while due to work getting in the way, I have compiled a short photo summary of my endeavours over the last few months.
I guess a series of before and after shots of various works is as detailed as it needs to be, I wouldn't want to put more effort into this blog than David Davis the Brexit secretary is getting away with in the course of his work!
I hope you enjoy this montage of my recent activities as I charge into the sunlit uplands of our post Brexit reality...
Now we've got our country back an associate of mine in our rural idyll in Staffordshire decided to help me out by doing a bit of casual road rolling
I guess the machine must of been foreign or something! It will take more than faulty non British machines to hold us back in the new age!
If you are at all concerned for the welfare of my associate you have obviously never met him..... The owner of the roller lamented that the driver had got off too soon, but was otherwise unperturbed.
The manufacture and restoration of antique rocking horses continues apace. With unabashed British grit and in an atmosphere of great professionalism and humility, we go about our time honoured traditional craft.
Personally I wish they'd automate the lot.... apart from the bit where i get to sand their bottoms!
Farmer Palmer approached me late last year with a booze storage problem.
"Can you help me fit more booze in my cupboard?" They said. In sympathy as Michael Gove now holds their livelihood in his rather slippery hands, I decided to forgo the usual beard stroking and sucking of teeth....
.... and produced this rather pleasing little wine cellar and bar amalgamation.
The department of the environment can go whistle now, who cares about the common agricultural policy when we can all get smashed in style!!!
Slightly randomly, here is a picture of a Scotsman cooking and selling mussels in Lambrini on the street.
He is laughing at you.
Concentrating again now, here is a narrowboat bathroom belonging to one of the great "Unwashed".
There's nothing I love more than getting stuck into a good stinking bilge, and with Boris Johnson's tomes of of Joy ringing in my ears I undertook to sort this mother out!
I found it helped productivity to sing sea shanties whilst imagining Jacob Rees-Mogg standing over me as supervisor, with a cane.
I think self employment has given me all sorts of funny ideas, and submitting myself to a bit of zero hours exploitation to be good practice for the future.
That'll do then!
If last years shepherds hut in my previous posts were a £350 million promise, then this antique hut of my own is representative of the biting reality!
I'd have tried to find some cheap foreign labour but there's a bit of a shortage of that in Staffordshire at the moment.
Getting into the positive spirit I decided to extend the apprenticeship scheme to make use of a bit of child labour. If i can find a top hat I've decided to try and get a job as an adviser on Moggsie's staff.
The boy done good,.... had to leave it there for a bit though... we had to put on our cravattes and spats to go and consult on a rather incongruous plan to build a road link to France, just as we've severed trade links with the French!
But where to sit and watch the drama unfold? How else to absorb these events at this exiting point in British history?
Why in front of a bespoke media wall unit crafted by a local artisan of course!
What better way to watch the political class stick it to Johnny Foreigner, than by also gazing at hand crafted furniture made with imported materials, by a half German anarchist descended from immigrants!
What could go wrong!
In Summary I'm under the impression that the powers that be would rather all the self employed, and indeed all workers bar their chums in the city, offshore, or in the hedge (wherever that is) were kept in working conditions and a level of dignity represented by this picture of me on the right!
What they continually fail to understand is that the great British workforce; versatile, determined, inventive, resourceful, and fantastically cynical, is more represented in their attitude to the political class by this picture below.............!
